Selflessness in Marriage

A couple of weeks ago, I announced that I am quitting my day job in order to serve others with my life. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Well, I’m already learning that serving others isn’t that easy, because Self gets in the way. Also, I’m learning that serving others starts in your own home first. I’ve read several Biblically based things lately that point out it’s not about me, it’s about others. Read the articles by Rick Warren and Greg Laurie for more info.

I’ve been married 12 years and with my husband for nearly 13 (yep, I’m getting old). I know a lot about being married, but I still have a lot to learn. In all these years, though, I can’t claim that I’ve been selfless. So, I’m working on that right now. Have you ever tried being selfless? It’s honestly one of the most difficult things you could ever do.

Several years ago, Mike and I were having a hard time in our marriage. Now, don’t cover your mouth and act surprised or think of who you can go tell. Every marriage has down days (or weeks, or months, or sometimes years). I went with my mom to watch that movie Fireproof about the couple who were on the verge of separating. It wasn’t my idea – mom wanted to go. Anyway, that movie spoke to me (well, God spoke to me through that movie) about being selfless in your marriage. That was years ago, this is today, but I still remember the selfless acts the husband did trying to get his marriage right.

I feel like now that I’m trying to live more for God, that satan is out to trouble my marriage. When we do what God wants, it angers the devil and he tries to make us stop. But, I’m not going to give up. Not this easily, not ever.

I’ve always had a hard time with the scripture that tells wives to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-33). Our culture tells us that submitting to anyone is bad. And women, we have equal rights. Let’s not submit to anyone! BUT, that’s not what God says, is it? On the other end of wives submitting to their husbands is the part of scripture that tells husbands to love their wives as themselves. Ahhhh, there it is. When you love others as you love yourself, that’s when you become selfless. Kind of ironic, isn’t it?

On another note, I started daily Bible reading over a week ago and have only missed Sunday. I found this devotional by Rick Warren very helpful on successful Bible study. It’s working for me. If you’re struggling with daily Bible time, maybe it will work for you, too. I set my alarm for 6 am each morning and it gives me those 10-15 minutes I need with Him. I encourage you to try it. It’s worth it.

One final thought – I know I mention Rick Warren a lot and I don’t want you to think I’m his follower. I think he speaks what God lays on his heart and he backs it up with scripture. Read today’s devotional about your job. It just affirms (yet again), that I’m doing the right thing with my life.



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