I’ve thought a lot about being a mom lately. I mean, I already AM one, but I’ve been pondering what it really means to be a mom. Technically, I guess anyone who has delivered a baby is a mom…or would she be a mother? Either way, my thoughts have been about being a GOOD mom.
My two-year-old started preschool last week. Up to this point, he’s only ever stayed with family during the day, so it was a big milestone…for him and us! He did well the first day (last Thursday) just crying a little when some of the other kids cried, then the next day he cried a little bit more when we got there then he was fine. He only goes Thursday and Friday mornings for 3 hours, so when he went back yesterday, there were tears again. Yesterday, he started crying as soon as we got into the parking lot, but he wanted to go in. He cried a little, but wasn’t clinging to me or begging me not to leave, so I told him his Poppy would be there to get him a while and he was fine. Today, he didn’t cry at all and didn’t seem to mind staying, thank goodness.
For the first time yesterday, when I saw those heartfelt tears as we pulled into the parking lot, I felt the pain a parent must feel countless times throughout their child’s life. I guess it’s similar to the pain you feel when you take them for their shots, knowing they are experiencing physical pain, but this is different. This pain is knowing your child is hurting emotionally and there’s not much you can do about it.
Growing up, I was a homesick kid until about the age of 13. I went to Bible camp and came home early. In the 4th grade, I went to 4-H camp and cried all week, but didn’t get to come home. It’s the most gut-wrenching feeling in the world. So, when I know my son is having similar feelings, it tears me up inside, too.
I say all that to say this – being a mom isn’t easy, but I can’t explain how rewarding it is. When I was leaving to go to work the other day, Ezra runs down the hall saying, “Wait momma. I have to give you a kiss.” Now, what else in the world is sweeter than that? I didn’t even have to ask for it!
Being a mom is taking your kid to preschool. Being a GOOD mom is wiping away his tears, feeling his pain, and looking forward to the time you are back with your child again (among a million other things).