I just finished watching the last 30 minutes or so of one of my absolute favorite movies, “The Family Stone.” I saw it in the theater when it first came out years ago and I watch in on DVD every year around Christmas. It was on TV a minute ago so I thought I would just finish the end. I’m glad I did.
Every time I watch it, I end up crying. I cry when Sara Jessica Parker (Meredith) gives everyone the framed prints of the mom who is dying of cancer. I cry when the sister Suzanna is watching that movie where she’s singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and I really cried on the very last scene when the family is gathering around the Christmas tree. There are parts in there when I laugh, but that movie touches me to the core for some reason.
One thing I realized tonight while watching the last scene is that my heart is broken that my family is not as close as we used to be. I promised to stay upbeat on my blog, and I am, to a certain extent. I’m so thankful that I have the best husband in the world (no, really I do) and that I have a happy, healthy, little baby boy who will celebrate his first Christmas this year. We’ve started our own family and I am so richly blessed that sometimes I just don’t know what to do.
I do have many repressed feelings buried away about my own family. Mom & dad divorced when I was about 18 (after about 17 years of marriage) and even though it was hard then, I honestly believe it’s been more challenging the older I’ve gotten. One of my sisters now lives in California and we see her about once a year if we’re lucky. Mom’s remarried and has started another family of her own, too. So, when we get together, it’s normally my dad, my younger sister, and me (along with my husband and son). We always have a wonderful time, but I do wonder “what might have been” if we could have stuck together. If we could all get together during the holidays and birthdays like we used to.
We used to celebrate all of the holidays it seems…even St. Patrick’s Day and such. Our family was close knit and I do remember being a happy kid. And that’s what I want to pass along to my little boy – I want him to know happiness, safety, comfort, and lots of love. I’ve made a vow to myself that I’ll do whatever is in my power to keep my family (small as it is right now) together. And, when it’s beyond my control, I will turn it over to God. Well, I should do that in the first place. One thing I vowed almost 9 years ago is to love my husband until death parts us and stay with him and by gosh, that’s what I’m going to do. The going my not always be easy and he may want to strangle me at times (I do ask lots of questions), BUT we’re gonna stick it out till the end.
I really don’t have remorse toward my parents about splitting up and I don’t want this to read that way. I imagine that all children would love to see their parents stick together and be happy, in a perfect world. But, this world isn’t perfect, so I will enjoy the time I have with each of my family members, even though it’s not all at one time in one setting. And I can remember those years of happiness we did have and the holidays we were able to celebrate together.
On a lighter note, I sent my son to bed tonight with dried prunes on his nose. I had fed him some prunes and he got sleepy and didn’t want me to mess with his face. So, I figure we can wipe the crusty prunes off his nose in the morning, huh?
Me & my sisters, Rachel (middle) and Amy (right)